For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
