im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
