I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
