Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I'm going to jail i love you
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
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Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
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and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize