I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
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once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
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She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize