What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Even my vagina gasped.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
