My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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