Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
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