So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
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I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
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I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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