There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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