I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Randomize