I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
But theres a keg here and me gusta
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
