You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
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