you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
