just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize