I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Randomize
