The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
