If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
