Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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