I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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