"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
