Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
