I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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