So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
