KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
