There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
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