you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
We need a shit load of segways right now
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize