Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
COCAINE IS GR8
Then you guys just all showered together...?
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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