sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
