I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Randomize