but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Randomize
