As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
this just has baby written all over it
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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