Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Randomize