Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
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