I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize