Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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