i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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