me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
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