I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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