The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
