Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
