I don't think brook has ever known best
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
