there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
