We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
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you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
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If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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