I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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