i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
