does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
