Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
