His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
In America we eat man semen.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
My vagina is very pro this idea
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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