you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Randomize
