Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.