went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face