u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
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then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
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And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.