I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.