Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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