Your tits are I can't wait for
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize