I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
