you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Randomize
