man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Use "feeling words"
Yay
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
