this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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