yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
