His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Operation Purity has been aborted
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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