What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize